Embracing Life Challenges with Patience and Grace. Along with some inspiration from Dolly Parton and Jud Caswell
"If you can't change the whole wide world, change your own little world, and maybe that'll kinda reach out and do some good. That's kinda how I do it... One day at a time. One thought at a time. One dream at a time"
-- Dolly Parton
Change is a fundamental aspect of growing as a person, but sometimes it can be pretty challenging. I love the cartoon of a man at a podium asking, “Who wants change?” with the assembled crowd enthusiastically raising their hands in response. But when the speaker asks, “Who wants to change?” they quietly look down at their feet. We are all creatures of habit, but sometimes life forces change whether we like it or not.
Health issues are one example. I have written before about my stroke last October which luckily was not too serious. Then I fell down on my head descending a Concord NH State House stairway I had been up and down many times before. Was that stroke-related or was I just being careless? And, for sure, I am getting older so that is another life change and challenge.
Now I have a pinched nerve in my leg affecting sleep and have been doing physical therapy and getting MRI results. I cancelled my volunteer naturalist talks at Lake of the Clouds Hut on NH’s Mount Washington and wonder what the future holds for my hiking and more. Sometimes I feel fragile, but my therapist Kristen reminds me to be patient, observing that the heathiest people can sometimes be the most anxious.
I began zooming with Kristen six years ago when knee replacement medication led to some unpleasant anxiety. I believe that everyone should have a therapist and find it unfortunate that there is so much stigma related to mental health.
Another big change is family moving out of my town and going overseas. I miss them, but at least, we have Zoom. And I am sure to make a trip to Morocco where I lived for five years, starting with Peace Corps service in the early 1970s.
I worry, too, about our country and what the future will be. Will my children, grandchildren, and future generations enjoy the benefits of this country like I have? Will my volunteer work with Braver Angels and coauthoring our book Beyond the Politics of Contempt (and this substack) make a difference?
Our nation’s polarization is not changing for the better right now, but Kristen reminds me that this work is meaningful and I should be realistic about what I can control. Don’t underestimate how you touch others or fail to ask if what you are doing is helpful, truthful, and kind, she adds -- so keep at it and give yourself grace.
I am grateful that Kristen suggested some patience to work through hard moments this summer. She also mentioned Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, including A = accept your thoughts and feelings, C= connect with your values, and T= take effective action. That sounds like a good roadmap for a meaningful life.
As Dolly Parton said so eloquently, focus on your own little world. Be patient and take one day at a time. And as another performer, Jud Caswell, sings: “Put one foot in front of the other… that’s the way we climb.”
We each have an extraordinary opportunity to make a difference in people’s lives, including our own. Don’t underestimate your impact!
We encourage readers to share about our book Beyond the Politics of Contempt: Practical Steps to Build Positive Relationships in Divided Times on social media and, if you can write a review on Amazon or Goodreads, that could help give the ideas in our book a boost.
